Gerry & Julie Gutierrez' Update
a wife, a mentor and a friend who’s second anniversary we celebrate today.
Some find difficult working with me in a team because I have been wired differently. In a nutshell I am some sort of “an odd ball”.
Today is my birthday. I am in my sixties and I feel like one of my feet is already in the grave and the other “about to kick the bucket anytime and go the way of all flesh”.
But as sad as these adjectives seem to describe me, I find in them redeeming elements in the words “wired differently”.
If I have been “wired differently” then it is not a matter of behavior, but a matter of nature that we are talking about.
As we all know, an oven cannot behave like a refrigerator.
These things are different because they are “different”.
“They have been wired differently”.
The nature of the creature should be attributed to the Creator.
After all, even the wicked has been created as a rod to be used on the back of a fool.
God has called even the pagan king Cyrus “My servant”
'He is my shepherd and will accomplish all that I please; he will say of Jerusalem, "Let it be rebuilt," and of the temple, "Let its foundations be laid."'
Remember that no one can play pool without an odd ball.
Even a feather is just as important to give direction to an arrow as the sledgehammer is for forging the tip of the same arrow.
All this is to say that we are differently useful to God and behavior at best may describe us, but in no way defines us. “God is still hitting a straight blow with a crooked stick”
We are what we are by the grace of God who is also defined not by what He does, but by what He is: “God is Love”, “God is Good”, “God is Holy”, “God is Pure”, “God is Perfect”, “God is Light”, “God is Infinite”, “God is Eternal”, “GOD IS THE GREAT AND ONLY I AM” from Whom we derive our existence and “we are” because “He Is” to the credit and glory of His precious name.
HOLLOWED BE HIS NAME.
Perhaps someone out there is feeling like me: Like an old Lion in a small cage, tired, feeling useless and a bit discouraged with a sense of frustration with an unfinished race under scrutiny.
I want to share with them a word of advice given to me by my wife: “I have seen you relate to important leaders in prominent places with ease and comfort and work effectively in harmony with them; so it is not all about you but it is also about others”.
Some have confronted me in the past and asked me if I am with the KGB, others have asked me if I am with the CIA. There was a time when my former Communists friends treat me as a traitor when I decided to follow Jesus. Even the Christians who were my newfound friends believed that I could not be a believer because of my violent past; those were lonely time!
Many resent the work among the leaders of the political world. In the first place it is of an imperative necessity that we work with leaders. In second place it is not easy. Lastly but not least is that some have been called and equipped by God himself to reach out to the leaders. In my case I have a special compassion for leaders.
Some brothers are very happy to know that our Lord will never be without a witness in “High Places” while others ignore the need to reach the power brokers of the world since they have already had their heaven on earth.
I am sure that you will agree with me that, with whom we work, is not as important as why we work with them. In other words, the Philosophy of the Mission and the Vision of why we work with whom we work is what matters the most.
Some brothers denied their fellowship to others when they do not fit in their mold and are not useful in their ministry. They find difficult to harness others to the point of control and they feel frustrated with each other. I do understand and sympathize with them completely. I too feel frustrated with some of my brothers because of the sporadic fellowship around a tight program that does not allow interaction except in the vertical sense of either being up or down from one another, but very little room for a horizontal exchange.
Fellowship is a shared privilege and responsibility. Love is a two way street. Prayer is walking in agreement with God and one another. We need the unity and agreement in the mind of Jesus as equals more than lording over each other.
We must remember that we are not only what we are today but also what we were from childhood, youth and adulthood.
Experiences and events have molded our lives.
Let me share a word of testimony for your consideration an understanding of how I have become “Different”:
Not many lost their father before birth and were orphans and grew up with the top and strong Communist leader of his community all his life, like I was with my grandfather.
Not many played the role of “a watchman” at early age by sitting in a high place while a clandestine meeting of revolutionary adults meet in the farm of my grandfather in the countryside. I was pushed to grow faster than “normal kids”.
Not many had the radical past committed to a radical cause such as the struggle for a Communist world, like I have been since 14.
Not many had a violent past and practiced violence as the only way to change society, as I have.
Not many can claim to have been a kidnaper of the Governor of his town and held him hostage to negotiate the freedom of his friends where he lost many of his Comrades when negotiations failed.
Not many can say how it is to be in the top of the wanted list of the antiterrorist commanders in search of me.
Not many could say that they were unable to sleep twice in the same place and kept on the run from the Law as I have.
Not many have been exposed to near-death experiences again and again throughout his life by dodging bullets and carrying his wounded and burying his dead as I have.
Not many as a young man got up early in the morning to meet with his comrades in the roof of an apartment complex, under a big bridge or under the shade of a tree or at the edge of a cornfield to memorize the Red Book of Communism as I have. We were never less than three or more than seven. The leader must be last to arrive and first to leave for safety sake.
Not many have believed that “power is born from the barrel of a rifle” and believed in guns like I have.
Not many have received training in firearms since age eight till he became champion in high power rifles by age eighteen as I have.
Not many made friends out of the local jail wardens to beg for their unused bullets of their yearly-expired allowance from the government for self-training as marksman.
Not many would go back home from solitary places with black and blue marks on his shoulder smelling like gun powder from shooting high powered rifles all the morning.
Not many have his right eye red most of his life like an overnight drunkard for shooting without protection from gunpowder and sunlight as I have
Not many have broken the noses of many in street fights, including police officers, for which I am now embarrassed.
Not many have invested their own money, life and strength to propagate a Revolutionary cause as I have.
Not many were exposed to radical and sometimes cruel discipline in fearless militancy on the basis of an atheistic ideology, full of radical passion and fanaticism as I was.
Not many have experienced the great forgiveness, changing power, love and grace of Jesus as I have.
Not many have seek to destroy the faith of the believers and persecuted missionaries and in the process found the love of his life in Ruthie and the blessing without measure in Jesus as I have.
Not many but Jesus will ever know me truly. He knows my scars and the many stiches and much blood shed in my struggle for principle at the tip of a cold knife in my stomach as well as at the pounding of my skull from with a rock from behind by the cowardly hands of my enemies in the darkness of the night, who were greater in number than me and my friends.
Show me your scars and I will show you mine and let us reason together. Perhaps you will find in me an elect of God chosen to testify the immutable destiny of the predestined who has visited you in disguise in the shape of an oddball.
Not many have their lives shaped by the forces described above.
Yes!! I am guilty as charged!
I am different, “because I am different”.
As infant I was mentored by my godly grandmother the greatest human being I have ever known only second to Jesus.
I welcome the observations on my behavior but at the same time I plead innocent of the way I have been “wired”. I am an infant in evil, clumsy at worst but in no way wicked or malicious. My credentials are my children, my friends from among the elect and my love for Jesus.
A brother of yours nevertheless.